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New York, New York – The man who set himself on fire outside of former President Donald Trump’s “hush-money” trial on Friday is a mentally ill conspiracy theorist who sought evidence of a criminal “fascist kleptocracy” by analyzing episodes of “The Simpsons.”
The man, who was identified through an unearthed Substack article titled “I have set myself on fire outside the Trump Trial,” is 37-year-old Maxwell Azzarello, a Rutgers University graduate and “investigative reporter” living in Greater Philadelphia, according to his LinkedIn.
Reports later clarified that Azzarello had actually been living in St. Augustine, Florida.
Azzarello’s Substack appears to serve as a manifesto for his frenetic political views. The article bizarrely implicates tech billionaire Peter Thiel and the cryptocurrency platform Bitcoin as a “Ponzi scheme” hatched to bring about the collapse of the United States. It also seeks to raise awareness of a “secret kleptocracy” working behind the scenes to bring about “an apocalyptic fascist world coup.”
“Social media, owned by crypto criminals like Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk, is flooded with nonsense conspiracy theories and memes reminding us that we are hopeless, helpless, anxious, depressed, ironic, scared, apathetic, escapist, lonely, misguided, and jaded, telling us we can’t do anything but have a laugh at our circumstances,” said Azzarello on his Substack.
“It is all so they can organize an unprecedented, apocalyptic rug pull on the entire populace as they pivot to fascism, which is perhaps best understood as kleptocracy at the barrel of a gun,” he continued. “When we piece it all together, we understand the truth: We are in a totalitarian doomsday cult.“
Azzarello also points to evidence found in mass media which allegedly confirms his many theories, evoking the names of authors, movies, and television shows like George Orwell, Easy Rider, and The Simpsons. In these things, Azzarello claims one can find proof of a group of “doomsday cult kleptocrats” who can only be stopped unless we “abolish our criminal government.”
“Why is Stanley Kubrick’s comedy about mutually assured destruction called Dr. Strangelove: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb?” Said Azzarello. “Because he was a cocky secret fascist who was getting us to stop worrying and love the bomb. Why did he make A Clockwork Orange? So we’d rejoice at ultra-violence designed to desensitize us to the horrors of the world.”
“I’ve been, like Lisa Simpson, desperately trying to get friends, family, and the public to believe the proof of a totalitarian con I’m trying to show them, and they’ve turned away with hostility, apathy, disbelief, and partisanship,” he continued.
“Do you know the phrase, ‘work sets you free?’ It was written on the gates of Auschwitz and other Nazi concentration camps,” Said Azzarello. “It was an evil, criminal lie…It’s the same message as this ‘touching’ Simpsons episode: That the best thing we can do for ourselves and our loved ones is to slave away for evil billionaires. That’s what the Harvard grads all tell us, anyway.”
An examination of Azzarello’s personal Facebook page revealed that the City and Regional Planning degree-holder had been placed in a psych ward in August of 2023 for apparently harassing a Starbucks barista with inappropriate messages he wrote on his tip receipt. In a post made to Facebook, Azzarello claims the incident would lead to a police encounter which resulted in him becoming institutionalized.
While in the psych ward, Azzarello says he drew upon the lived experiences of Spanish Antifascists in the 20th century to cope with his rehabilitation.
“Want to know how the Spanish Anarchists did it in the ’30s?” Azzarello asked. “While incarcerated, there was NO hierarchy between staff and prisoners. You wouldn’t be able to distinguish one from the others, so there was no opposing force, even in detainment. Pretty rad, right? If the goal is rehabilitation (and that should be the only goal), I’ll bet that model would produce tremendous results.”
On one of Azzarello’s now-suspended Reddit accounts, u/coup_radley, he appeared to be a regular contributor to r/stupidpol, a “broad Marxist/Leftist forum.” In posts made by Azzarello, he describes himself as an “Anarcho-Communist” in favor of a “broad Left unity” against the “ruling kleptocracy.” Other articles on his Substack opine about “misinformation” and “conspiracy theories” on social media, and claims that the West is now run by a Secret fascist “ultra-capitalist and transnational doomsday cult.”
At the end of Azzarello’s Substack article, he asks readers to don a pair of “truth-colored glasses” before a fascist “apocalypse” overtakes the country. He then directs them to a series of promotional materials that allegedly contain proof of his many conspiracy theories.
“I no longer have my original research files from the crypto rabbit hole. If you want to see them, you’ll have to get my laptop back from the government. Ask them how they got it – it’s a very fun story,” he said, ending the article.
“I hope you know how powerful you are. I wish you a hell of a lot more than luck,” he continued.
On Friday, Max Azzarello set himself on fire in front of the Manhattan courthouse used to host Donald Trump’s ongoing criminal trial. According to reports, first responders were able to extinguish the flames and escort Azzarello to a nearby hospital for treatment. It is currently unknown what condition he is in but the Justice Report will continue to provide updates as they become available.
Azzarello’s act of self-immolation would be the second documented incident of such protests in recent memory. In February, US Airman Aaron Bushnell set himself on fire outside of the Israeli Embassy in Washington D.C in protest of Israel’s ongoing “genocidal” war on Gaza. Bushnell—an avowed anarchist—would quickly be elevated as a martyr by pro-Palestine demonstrators across the globe.
Update 4/20/24: Maxwell Azzarello has now died from his injuries. Reports indicate he was “declared deceased by hospital staff” by the NYPD.
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